Wednesday, December 31, 2008
What do you think? You can put the birth date on the back too! She hand stamps each and every letter and I just think they so neat! A few of the nurses at the hospital have them too -- and I always make them show me their hot mama designs!
This is the website -- I just can't get over how talented she is! I like the name too! I like to think that once I lose my pregnancy weight I too will hot mama! :) HA!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
We are going to make sure we go shopping for some cute boy preemie outfits to donate to the hospital though -- they have been so good to us and we want to return the favor! We also want the other little boys who come after us to have some cute digs to wear -- nothing pink or purple!
His little feet, I just can't help myself I think they are the sweetest little things I have ever seen. He very much has his daddy's hands and feet and I just love them.
We have documented every move you have made since you arrived -- we fell head over heels in love with you the minute we saw you and we haven't looked back since. I can't wait to hold you and snuggle with you everyday and watch you grow. You have been learning how to eat out of a bottle and breastfeed these days and I have been overwhelmed with pride watching you learn and figure things out. You just seem too little to do some of the things you do, in my opinion, but really you are not, you are just doing what you need to do. I love to watch you while you eat, sing to you and read to you (the Twilight series, I am not proud of it, but I am totally addicted to it! We are on book three and I think I enjoy it more than you -- you just fall asleep!) and watch how you hold onto your pacy while you suck on it. I know that you recognize your momma and daddy -- you always watch us when we talk to you and you immediately calm down when one of us walks into the room.
It is still hard for me to watch you live in the NICU, but I am getting better. You have had some issues with reflux (a very common problem with preemies) and it is breaking my heart. I just can't stand to watch you in pain -- it literally breaks my heart. Heaven help the first person that is mean to you, I don't know what I will do or how I will handle it. I have started holding you (and daddy holds you when he is here) after you eat for awhile and it seems to help you out. I know you are where you need to be, but we are looking forward to breaking you out of here and getting settled at home. We can't wait to show you your room and your sweet doggies! We have been bringing home things you have worn and they LOVE to smell you. Daddy starts his "paternity leave" next week and we can't wait!
Above all we just love you. As silly as it sounds, you were meant to be our little boy and our family is now where it should be. We look forward to everyday and watching you grow into a sweet little boy. I feel like I am already more fulfilled than I ever imagined as a parent and I promise to be the best momma I can be.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Bj was so cute when we were skyping with the Johnson's on Christmas, he put on a little show with Connor and all of this toys. They all said it was so neat to actually see him move and visualize how small he is compared to one of us or the toys in his bed. We think he is perfect and I have thoroughly stared at every exposed inch of him to memorize how small he is so I will never forget it. I know the time is going to fly by and soon enough he will be walking, talking and going to school -- my big boy. Ah, I am sure I will cry as he does all of those things!
Speaking of a big boy -- last night he drank 17 cc's out of his first bottle (at 11pm) and then at 5am he drank his whole bottle! He was absolutely precious -- he paced himself and breathed the whole time! I could not have been more proud of him (I immediately called Daddy and had to restrain myself from calling him at 5am!) and you could tell he was awfully proud of himself! I even got to feed him the second bottle, it was wonderful. He has been having issues with Acid Reflux (apparently it is something that no preemie escapes, their little muscles just aren't strong enough to keep everything down) and it is literally tearing me apart. I think it is so unfair and I hate to see the little one in pain, especially when he is trying to eat. So, it was so nice to see him so happy and wide awake while eating away. I know we still have a long way to go with the whole suck/swallow/breathe thing, but we are so proud of his progress! He apparently doesn't take after his momma in the weight gaining department though -- after bumping up feeds and calorie intake -- his weight stayed the same!
That is about all of the newest updates! Oh, and he looks like Barney today. He has on a very lovely purple outfit -- I think daddy and I are running to Target in search of some more preemie outfits to fit this sweet boy!
For those of you who know me, you know I have changed my fair share of diapers in my lifetime, I love little kiddos and therefore have changed a few of their diapers. Well, Bj changed the first one and said that he wasn't fast enough and Connor man peed a little -- only on the diaper, no where else. So, I had to laugh when it was my turn later that night to change his diaper and make a big deal about how I wouldn't let anything like that happen to ME! I get everything ready and open the diaper, clean him off (he only likes to poop when I change him and he usually likes to poop as soon as I put the new diaper on!) and get ready to put the diaper on -- when he pees ALL OVER EVERYTHING! It was kind of funny and exactly what I deserve for being so cocky -- we had to change everything, the diaper, his outfit and all the blankets. Way to go Momma! At least I have a few years ahead of me to perfect the talent.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Believe it or not this was the smallest hat Bj could find at Target -- I think we will get a few more uses out of it!
He is almost ready for his close-up -- he almost has everything on!
He just needed the fancy stocking to complete the outfit!
The whole family -- the little one makes us complete, all that's missing in the picture is the doggies!
I have to say that he was PERFECT for this photo shoot -- he slept through the whole thing! We had the entire hospital staff in our room and they all think he is pretty darn handsome. It was really fun to dress him up and celebrate our first Christmas as a family of five -- we can't wait to show him these pictures a few years down the road! :)
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Today while I was hanging out, Connor's nurse came in with a blanket and card and explained to me that a first grade class handmade fleece blankets for all of the preemie babies. They also made Christmas cards for each and every baby and their mommy. I cannot think of a sweeter thing -- as I know their teacher had to take the time to do the project with them and buy all of the supplies with money out of her own pocket. I just think it is amazing and so wonderful that people are taking the time to do sweet things for others -- what a wonderful lesson to teach these children at such a young age.I can guarantee the Johnson family will be returning the favor as all the sweet little things people have done to make us feel comfortable have really touched us.
Sweet Daddy brought Connor a cake to celebrate the occasion, we took his one week old footprints, and moved into a big boy bed! It has already been such a big day, Aunt Steph and Aunt Jamie even called to sing us Happy One Week Birthday-- the little guy is tuckered out! It was so nice to think back on all the things that have changed since Connor arrived in the world -- he has lost his CPAP, IV, Phototherapy lights, Warmer Bed, and Lipids/Electrolytes. He is now able to be swaddled and wear big boy clothes! We are going to wait for his cues and start working on eating out of a bottle. As soon as he can master sucking/swallowing and breathing all at the same time -- we can bust him out of here! We are so blessed to have such a sweet little baby boy and we can't wait to celebrate Christmas with the little man tomorrow!
Another new outfit and a new bed-- looking pretty cute!
Connor's first outfit -- borrowed from the hospital! He looks pretty handsome!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
He was so good until the scrubbing
came along and he didn't like that so much -- but other than he just snoozed away! How handsome does he look with his clean hair!
All clean and posing with daddy! He was such a good boy and he now officially has that baby smell -- all I did this afternoon was snuggle with him and sniff his head -- it smells just the way a baby should :)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The little boy is doing well! He is still "dialed in" in the NICU and the estimate is his stay will be anywhere between 4 and 6 weeks (though, it could be sooner!!!). He has lost a little bit of weight (perfectly normal) and now weighs 3lb. 12oz. -- though he keeps bumping up the feeding so I am sure he will beef up soon. He will hopefully start bottle feeding (I have been pumping and he gets my milk -- as soon as he masters that he will be on to breastfeeding!) tomorrow or the next day and his departure time will be up to him. In order to leave the NICU and come home he needs to maintain his body temperature in an open crib and be able to suck/swallow/breathe all at the same time. Hopefully he is like his momma and he can master the eating and breathing in no time at all! He was able to lose his oxygen the other day and he now only has a feeding tube, iv and phototherapy lights. He has a case of jaundice but hopefully we will be able to lose those pesky lights and silly purple mask in the next few days.
We have been able to snuggle with him twice a day -- I make sure no one forgets that I want to snuggle in the morning and I always take daddy's time in the evening if he has to work. I can't help it, it's the highlight of my day. I like to think it is the highlight of the little man's day too :) He is as sweet as can be and I think we fall in love a little more each day. The hardest part about being in the NICU is hearing him cry and not being able to do anything about it. It literally tears my heart out, if he is upset his momma should be able to hold him. I just keep telling myself soon enough he will be home and he won't remember any of this. Luckily he has crazy parents who have documented his every movement upon arriving into the world! Granny and Uncle Dave were here to visit and it was wonderful to have them. I think they are smitten and it was so nice to be able to show the little guy off! We celebrated Christmas on Saturday and just hung out with the little guy the rest of the long weekend. We were sad to see them go, but looking forward to hanging out with them when they come back to visit!
**That is all for now...be sure and read past the slideshow so as not miss anything!**
Oh, as of right now we think he is a combination of both of us. I am happy to report he has a lovely head of dark hair and long legs like daddy! I think he has my round face, lips and nose and daddy's eyes and body shape! It will be fun to see how much he changes and who he looks like!
- lonely -- I miss the dogs, my house, falling asleep with Bj
- out of control
- connected to the baby
- happy for each day
- proud of each week that goes by and I am still pregnant
I think the list could go on and on. Overall, I just really hope that I remember what it feels like to have no control over what happens to you. To realize that life is short and precious to not get so caught up with the small stuff. Nothing about the last month has been easy -- I have worked so hard to keep this baby in so he or she is closer to being ready to enter the world. I have also been really content just sitting and talking to the baby. I have found that I keep the lights/tv/computer off and just talk to the baby. I feel so connected to the little one and I love feeling him or her move. I know their patterns and movements and I think they are going to be a good little snuggler. I know all of this will be worth it in the end -- it will just be really nice to be home and a family again -- plus one!
The doctor's came in this morning and said all was well and good and we would be staying pregnant. We have a growth ultrasound scheduled for Thursday to see how big the peanut has gotten -- we hope he or she is over 4 lbs!
That is all for now, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Granny and Uncle Dave on Wednesday night! It will be so nice to see them and show off the peanut on the ultrasound on Thursday!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I think I just focus so much on this little one being a baby that is amazes me sometimes that he or she will grow up and want to go to places like Rehab for Spring break. When the thought of piling into the car with the family and driving down to Destin for Spring Break doesn't sound as appealing as going somewhere with friends (oh yes, I have already told Bj how excited I am to go to Destin for Spring Break, don't worry!). I know they will always be our baby, I just wonder what we will let them do and what we won't. I know it will be an amazing journey with many ups, downs and inbetweens -- and don't worry I am sure I will write about each adventure along the way!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
One of my night nurses comes in and says "Oh, I saw on your chart that you are starving, did you figure out some snacks you can eat?"
I turn red and go "Oh Melody, could you please black that out?"
She goes "Oh no, it wasn't bad, it just says that the patient wants to have some healthy snacks for her and the baby"
Sure, sure, I think she was just trying to make me feel better and not like a huge pregnant lady! I really do find it rather amusing and I stick to my case, I am just doing all I can to fatten up this little baby...I want him or her over 4lbs before they enter this world! So, I smiled as the next morning I ordered my eggs, french toast, a cinnamon bun AND a muffin for breakfast :)
Well, after taking all the measurements (and not really saying much to me -- didn't worry me AT ALL!) she remembers at the last second to take the first picture of the baby's face she can see. I looked at it and smiled because to me it is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. BUT, most people will look and jump because Baby Johnson looks TERRIFIED!!! The machine only picks up shadows -- so no worries this sweet angel has actual eyes, nose and mouth not just the sockets :) I just had to share and if you chuckle a little no worries, we did too! So, in case you can't see -- that is the baby's face looking right at you! Little eye sockets and all!! We have had the week of ultrasounds! The first one we had upon arriving at the hospital was on Saturday the 22nd of November and we still can't figure out how to get the pictures off the disk :). The babe was 3lbs. 4oz. and looking sweet as can be. I was so relieved to see that the baby had gotten bigger from our 20 week ultrasound! I feel as though I have done all that I can to beef up this little one -- and I was quite proud of myself!
It is amazing to see the baby move on the screen and feel it at the same time. I love it. The breathing is also quite amazing--you just see their little ribs moving up and down, it's just the most amazing miracle I will ever witness. The heart just beats away and you can see the four chambers and the valves opening and closing--I have stars in my eyes just thinking about it! I think we have had three more BPP's since this one and I am just as amazed at each one we have.
The first picture shows the baby's leg -- not a great one, but I still thought I would put it in. We saw the baby stretch that sweet, long leggie out -- it was so cool!!!! I screeched :) The leg is up in the left-hand corner and it is stretched out.
The second picture is a little profile shot (the baby's head is on the right and the arm is in the air)and you can see the baby's arm is extended -- it was so sweet in one of the ultrasounds the baby was snoozing away with their arm all nestled up on their face and the other one down by their side. I mean...does it get much cuter than that?!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Okay, I will back up...when I arrived at the hospital, two weeks ago, my protein urine count was at 451 (mild) on the 25th it spiked to 700 (severe) and as of the 2nd it was back down to 500! My lab work (they draw and test my blood everyday to make sure my organs ((kidney and liver and a slew of other things)) are still functioning well) seems to be going down a little bit each day too! I am happy to report that Shrek legs are no longer and have been replaced by chicken legs! Woo-hoo! I about cried when I saw my ankles for the first time in a good few months. It is funny when a nurse I haven't seen before comes in and says my swelling doesn't look "that bad" and I laugh and say "let me tell you something about not bad!". They also do a Non-Stress test on the baby (started out 24 hours a day, went down to 3 times a day, down to once a day, and back up to twice a day) to make sure he/she looks good. The strips have been reassuring but not reactive, so we are keeping close eye on the little one to make sure my placenta is not acting up and taking away all of the baby's amniotic fluid. WHEW! I am tired from writing all that! The nurse said they typically do not see patients as sick as I was when I got here end up looking this good and still pregnant two weeks out! So, I was very proud of us and we are just going to keep on trucking as long as we can. Our next goal is to get us to 34 weeks and if the baby and I look good after that we can keep on going to 37 weeks! I don't think the doctors quite know what to do with me -- they said they would conference on me once we hit 34 weeks. But, hopefully we will be doing so great that we won't have to induce and we can sail on to our 37th week!
The strict bed rest (I can only get up to go to the bathroom and take a bath) seems to agree with me and the doctor said I could plan on addressing my Christmas cards from the hospital. I have noticed that the less noise and stimulation I have the better, so I do a lot of looking out the window and snoozing. On the 29th we were able to move from the Labor and Delivery side of the hospital to the Mom/Baby side. We have a bigger bed and a wonderful view (we enjoyed watching the snow fall all day today and we fall asleep looking at the Christmas star), so no complaints! Upon arriving over at Mom/Baby we were given a tour of the NICU (I cried, but I am getting used to the idea that we are most likely going to have a preemie baby and it is okay) and if this baby is going to come early, this is the place to do it. The NICU is amazing, we would have our private room (that apparently we wouldn't have to leave until the baby does because it is so expensive to stay -- thanks insurance!) as would the baby. The baby would be right off of our room and the nurses' would have a door and we would have a door, so it is an ideal situation if sweet pea has to stay in the hospital.
I think that is about all I have for this update! I had an ultrasound today and we got a little picture! I think it is a picture only Bj and I will love -- the baby looks kind of terrified! The shadows the beams picks up around the face look a little scary, but I think it is the most beautiful baby out there! I am having Bj scan it at work tomorrow, so I will fill you all in on those details then!