Journaling...

Another sweet mamma friend of mine who has experienced the joys of bedrest gave me some wonderful advice: to journal. She said as hard as it is to think now, I will not always remember what I was thinking and feeling during this time of bedrest. So, I have tried to jot down some feelings here and there and I thought I would share some of them now. I have to say the hardest week was the first week -- just the uncertainty of what was going to happen and how long we would be in the hospital. So here goes...

Feelings and Thoughts

• uncertain
• lonely -- I miss the dogs, my house, falling asleep with Bj
• excited
• anxious
• tired
• restless
• controlled
• quiet
• scared
• nervous
• out of control
• connected to the baby
• happy for each day
• proud of each week that goes by and I am still pregnant
• thankful

I think the list could go on and on. Overall, I just really hope that I remember what it feels like to have no control over what happens to you. To realize that life is short and precious to not get so caught up with the small stuff. Nothing about the last month has been easy -- I have worked so hard to keep this baby in so he or she is closer to being ready to enter the world. I have also been really content just sitting and talking to the baby. I have found that I keep the lights/tv/computer off and just talk to the baby. I feel so connected to the little one and I love feeling him or her move. I know their patterns and movements and I think they are going to be a good little snuggler. I know all of this will be worth it in the end -- it will just be really nice to be home and a family again -- plus one!