My Wish

So, as I sit down to write this I know with absolute certainty I am going to get made fun of by all who see! :)
I am well aware of this and totally fine with it.

As I drove to work this morning, I was listening to my usual radio station, "The Wolf - Denver's New Country Station" and a song I have heard many times before came on, only this time I immediately burst into tears. Good old Rascal Flatts decided to go ahead and write the song "My Wish" and I just about lost it listening to the words, knowing that the song is dedicated to his child. Bj and I keep laughing about how we are going to have to teach this baby to drive! One day this baby is going to go to school and learn to walk and GO ON DATES! AH! How are we going to handle schtuff like that!? :) Ha, I am sure it will require many phone calls to the grandparents for advice, but I think we will survive! It's funny how different emotions can just surface at any given time and I never know when I will be rubbing my belly and crying to the baby about how Daddy and I will always love him or her! All of the things you think about/realize when you have a bun in the oven. I think we just focus so much on the baby part and not the growing up part!

So, I am going to leave this post with the words to the song that made me cry this morning! Enjoy!

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Scooter, Jr.

Most of you reading this little blog of mine can probably figure out why the name Scooter has significance to me, but I still feel as though I need to explain myself.
The first time I fell in love with a man, he was, tall, handsome, (had a ton of hair), with a welcoming smile, contagious laugh, a sense of humor, feeling of safety...and best of all, I knew he loved me, my brother, and my mom with all his heart. This wonderful man was my dad and the guardian of my baby for the next nine months (and guardian angel Paw-Paw for the rest of their long life). I have had a very tough time dealing with him being taken from us entirely too early and I have found that sometimes it helps me to talk to him, write to him or just write down my feelings in general. I have found myself struggling a lot lately realizing that my sweet baby will never know such a huge person in mamma's life. I will do my best to teach this baby what a wonderful person his or her Paw-Paw was and that he is always watching over and protecting them. I wanted to do something that reminded me of my wonderful childhood. So, with that said...
I can still hear my dad calling me "SCOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTEEEERRRRRRRR!!!" and it always makes me smile. Scooter was a childhood nickname that carried on through my adulthood. He said I used to just scoot along on the floor and hence the name! So, I thought it was only fitting that the peanut be Scooter, Jr! A nice little tribute, one that I think Pops would get a kick out of!

One Fine Day

I should back up from the last post and write about how we found out about our exciting news! Brian and I decided one day that we were ready for a baby. We thought we would throw caution to the wind and see what happened. We fully anticipated lots of trial and error before we figured it out...lo and behold our little bambino was ready and came on the first try! We took a pregnancy test on May 23, 2008 (our 11-month anniversary) and were speechless when we saw two little lines! We kept reading the instructions to make sure it was really real! We hugged, jumped up and down, our jaws dropped to the floor, tears in the eyes...WE ARE SO EXCITED!!!

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!

I don't think either one of us did much at work that day, I also think we were both glowing. I went to the doctor in the afternoon, just to confirm. I needed someone else to tell me that I wasn't "half pregnant" for it to really sink in. After the confirmation, the new momma-to-be questions, and a few tears from the doctor, I was out the door! Brian and I talked the whole way home, we just couldn't stop talking the baby talk! We left that night to head to St. Louis for the Indy 500. I was so naive to think that we would be able to keep it from everyone...I was so wrong!
We wanted to tell both sets of grandparents at the same time...I think were kind of nervous though! We had a really nice afternoon on Sunday, but of course didn't say anything. As we were getting in the car to head to the Erker-Diehr's, I drug everyone out to spill the beans! Needless to say, we have some very excited grandparent's, uncles, aunts, great uncle's and aunt's, great grandparents and the list goes on! This is going to be one spoiled little nugget!!
All in all, it was a very special day for the parent's to be and a very special weekend sharing it with the family we love!

A Perfect Heartbeat!

The day we have been waiting for has finally come! On Thursday July 17th, we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time! To say it was a moving experience does not even begin to describe what it felt like to hear that perfect little heartbeat...our first communication with the little peanut! I have had dreams and prayed about that little sound for the last 6 weeks and it was everything I had hoped for. I think Brian and I just laughed and looked very much in awe. We could have definitely listened to it all day, the swoosh swoosh THUMP, THUMP, THUMP...so fun! We are already anxiously awaiting the next visit and heart beats...I don't know what I am going to do when we see the little one on the sonogram ultrasound, most likely cry!
The rest of the day was lovely, I was able to tell everyone at work. They were all so excited, just not very surprised! Apparently I am not as good at keeping a secret as I thought I was. I do think it is one of nature's cruel little tricks, the waiting until 3 months to tell, as I felt dreadful for the first three months! Now that the secret is out I feel like I can sing it from the mountain tops! We are just busy thinking of names and planning the little nursery out!