Friday, August 13, 2010


The last few weeks have been so crazy between the endless hours we have spent working on our beautiful little home, to losing Bj's grandpa and helping/going through the grieveing process with him and his family I have really been missing my dad. I have found that lately it goes in spurts and this is one of those spurts where I just miss him so much. I was running around with Connor the other day and Paw-Paw's tree was calling my name. My dad's co-workers at Laura McCarthy planted this tree at the Carmelite monestary where my dad went almost every morning for 7am mass. He also took the cloistered nuns to their doctor appointments :) The Carmies (as we say around here) have a beautiful piece of property on the way to our new house, it's so peaceful and I knew it was just what my heart needed the other day. I told Connor we were going to visit Paw-Paw and he said "Pa-Pa?!" and got really excited. I started talking all about him as we were walking up to the tree and little bench and just cried and cried. I think Connor thought I was crazy but he was just sweet as could be and held my hand while I talked and cried in front of a tree :) I cried for all that he has missed out on, I cried because the tree was too big and that meant the years were piling up that he has been gone. It was the perfect thing for us to do and we had such a nice time enjoying the beautiful day, I felt much better as our little stop and then we were on our way to our house to get some work done!
I realized while I was there just how much this beautiful, energetic, astounding, perfect curly haired little boy has healed my heart. He has made me feel like myself again and I don't know that I will ever be able to tell him just how much Daddy and I love him.

I know my dad would be pretty proud of his little grandbaby. I know how much he delights in the fact that Connor Francis had filled a hole in all of our hearts and brought our family even closer together (if that was possible).

I am so thankful everyday for this little goofball and my sweet hubby, family and friends and doggies. I feel so blessed to have beautiful days like this where I hang out with my boy. Sorry for the missing post, it was on my heart and I wanted to be sure I always remember this day.


Steph said...

oh elle...that is so sweet that you took connor to the special tree! i will call you in a bit...i was just talking about your dad the other day to someone and what a wonderful, wonderful man he was! love you :)

Kym said...

What an amazing post. The line about the tree being too big got me all choked up. That's a sweet memory and great pictures.